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Nov. 2nd, 2005

It is official. Friday is my last day at the bookstore. To tell the truth, I'm a little sad about that. I will miss my new friends, and I doubt that I'll be able to see them or hear from them much. But alas, it is time to move on, and I know I will greatly appreciate my weekends of relaxation. Or "relaxation" I suppose. I'm probably going to need it.

My room is such a mess. I haven't attempted cleaning it in months, it seems. Right around the time when all the crap landed in there. I suppose I haven't noticed the problem because I haven't slept in that bed for quite a while. But the time is now. I have a lot to do this weekend anyway, but I don't have a choice. I must get in there and find some work clothes. MUST FIND NICE CLOTHES. Because I don't have much, but what I do have I will use over and over and over again.

I've noticed that I feel more of a need to protect the relationships I have now. Not the family ones. Screw those. They were gone way before I had any say. Friendships. More precious than before, and I don't really know why. Which could cause some problems. Where is the line drawn? How do I know if the friendship isn't worth it? You try and try and try, and in the end you tried for nothing, though I suppose you gain peace of mind. I'm sad about the loss of some friendships, but there are a few I don't seem to care much about.

A few of my friends, the ones I've been friends with for quite a long time, also expressed... extra concern about my relationship with Scott, among other things. And what with the shit I had to deal with at the time, that was the last thing I needed. But I took it because I love my friends, even though they didn't always agree with me. And we all got over it all right, though some friendships have thinned. I'm going to make sure I do what I need to do.

I made brownies tonight. It's my coworker John's birthday tomorrow. The girl I work with suggested I bake cupcakes. But I like brownies. So I made brownies. I have to make cookies for work on Friday, for my last day. Oo, it's my cousin Paul's birthday too. I should make him cookies too. This is a dreadful pattern, isn't it? Bake and bake and bake. My three boys don't much mind.

Good night. Need sleep to decorate brownies tomorrow morning.


( 4 comments — Leave a comment )
Nov. 3rd, 2005 06:00 pm (UTC)
Nothing dreadful about all that baking, may I come over to enjoy? I love brownies so much, especially when they include chocolate chips.

Tommorow's your last day...I hope everything goes well!
Nov. 4th, 2005 06:43 am (UTC)
Haha, I'd so love for you to come over sometime! Good times. Thanks for the wishes of luck.
Nov. 3rd, 2005 07:02 pm (UTC)
I have no idea about the background of the piece you wrote about friendship, but I can say I recognise what you feel. I am here, almost alone in a strange country, with loads of things going on 'at the homefront', realising I am so far away from them, unable to do something evident for them. Sometimes there are just moments you realise how fragile everything can be.
About relationships and people talking to you about them...don't get me started. Got into big fights. All for the best, but it gave me a fecking hard and difficult time.
Take care at least. Don't try tóó hard and stay with the things you know that are real. Wish you peace.
Nov. 4th, 2005 06:46 am (UTC)
Thanks. Things seem to be turning for the better a little at least. :) I have never been in your exact position, but I would imagine it is very frustrating. Good job for pulling through it thus far.
( 4 comments — Leave a comment )