I'm back in course prep mode, which I've discovered is a safe zone for me. I feel like I'm being productive and can otherwise fiddle around and see people. Two of my classes start next week, which means I need to get everything as set up as possible and email students by the end of this week. It also means I'm less inclined to leave the house (Bosco is great for this, by the way). I'm already more of a homebody than most people admit to being. But I think I'm better at actually turning down social engagements. Well, not turning them down, exactly. It's more that I don't always take the initiative to start them. Part of this is a feeling that anyone can start that ball rolling and it doesn't need to be me. But the other part is just lazy. Plus, at this time of year, a good deal of my friends who are teachers, and they're as zoned out as I am about social engagements during winter break. (Or they're teaching classes again already, which I find completely bonkers.)
Sometimes I genuinely do worry that my not being social now will have an affect on me later. Or rather, an affect on my life. Am I missing out on maintaining relationships that are supposed to last me into old age? Does it mean I'll be lonelier in the future, when I really need those people to be around me. I feel that way about my family too, because I can see that I'm becoming a little less involved. I've always been a bit separated from the rest of my family (uncle, aunts, cousins) because their grandmother is not my grandmother, but I also suppose that I focus on out differences, and that keeps us from being close. (I also argue that they're so much prettier than me, and they talk about fun stuff that I know so little about.) But I tell myself that I really should try harder. I should talk to them more at family gatherings. Actually, my aunt and uncle are hosting a wine tasting at the winery that my cousin works at, so that should be nice. (Assuming I can go. Because, Bosco.)
Bosco's full of energy this morning, and I'd like to take him walking, but it's just a bit too cold this morning. Should settle Bosco's insurance and get some work done this morning before going to the bookstore and lunch with Tiffany. (Note: wrap up her Christmas present.) Will then come home and take the little bugger out for a lap.