Life is never black and white. There's always some gray in the middle. I'm learning more and more that there is this space between that can't be defined. At first I thought to have gray thoughts because people get frustrated with you for not having a stand on the issue at hand. And of course the good part of that situation is that you can identify with everyone (ideally, anyway). I think very differently now than I did back when I first began university. I wonder whether everything I believe will change. Will I like my family? Will I like my cousins? I know I must be doing the same thing that my aunts did to me when I was young: ignoring them and disliking them because they aren't like me. I feel like hurling when I meet up with my family. Now my cousin has decided that she wants to attend SCU because her boyfriend is going to SJSU. Get a fucking clue! Yes, Santa Clara offers an excellent education, but she's not going for that. Perhaps if she should get in, her ideas will change. But why do hers have to change? Do mine have to? One of the issues I've had to reevaluate recently is what you do for love and what is wrong and what isn't necessarily wrong. I love learning about relationships because they offer so many different truths. And when you are in a relationship, you are completely honest. I can't tell you how much I hated people who always talked about their boyfriends (because the men I know almost never talk about their girlfriends, or at least, they don't with me.). Now look at me. I'm surprised my friends haven't shot me yet. And all this MCC stuff that has happened since the quarter started has hit me hard. I can feel for the MCc, I promise I can. I don't hate them anymore, but I never truly did in the first place. Oddly enough, most of my arguments were logical and seem a bit petty, though I still believe in them. But I feel my opinion doesn't really count. I just hope they put the money to better use than just buying alcohol.